Article by: Kandhalvi M. Asaali and Sairine M. Salonga
Graphics by: Aliza Belle C. Dayao, Andreah Faye G. Lapinid, and Guinevere Rocel N. Rocamora
February — the month that all lovers await. With the constraints brought by the pandemic, online dating has become more popular than ever. Theoretically, love can now be found through mobile apps while people comfortably cuddle their pillows at home.
Not knowing the kind of people one could meet online can be quite scary and traumatizing. Hence, it would be best to armor one’s self in advance by knowing the five popular types of people on these online dating apps to not fall for cons.
The Red Flagbearer
From an inconsistent display of interest and emotional intimacy to unbearable gaslighting and manipulation, red flagbearers wave their flags of varying pride and vigor.
They are called the “red flagbearers” because they exhibit major red flags – signs which show that they cannot easily hold a healthy relationship. Proceeding down the road together is very emotionally risky. While some jarring red flags can be easy to spot, some are especially subtle. Despite some red flags being very clear, many of these signs present more as a clue or a hint of an underlying problem.
Because of this, some red flagbearers are dangerous. They tend to be good at the art of pretense and subtleness, hiding their true color at first then gradually showing it as the relationship progresses. Be extra wary of them. Once you feel off, remember to reassess, and reevaluate. While there are red flag bearers here and there, make sure you are not walking red flags yourself.
The “Ready to Landi but Not to Commit”
Everyone has probably already met this person – the type that always seems to have the right words to make us swoon but seemingly does not have the commitment to go along with it. These people easily mirror your perfect partner and are usually the ones who initiate the flirting first.
They would often leave you hanging for days, leaving you to crave them that much more. In a nutshell, these people often have commitment issues. If you are not careful, they can easily pass on lingering trauma from their past relationship. So be wary and make sure they do not carry similar traits to red flag bearers.
This type also tends to say, "I am sorry but I am not yet ready," or worse, they would simply just vanish into thin air.
The "To Date is To Settle" Person
At the other end of the spectrum, this type of person is dying to meet someone and commit with them immediately. Most of them are nice, but sadly, these people easily get hurt.
They are the type that are willing to give their all, especially when they have already been attached to the person they are talking with. You would often hear them say the words "This is the one," a day after they have started talking with someone, and they are also the most likely to get catfished.
Although some people choose to date for the experience and fun that dating can bring, these people date to settle. They aim to find “the one”, not just play around. When dating online, expectations are one of the most important topics to discuss to save each other from possible heartbreak.
The “Pick Me” Type
The line, “I am not like others” probably has nudged a sense of familiarity as this is the famous marketing slogan of pick-me girls and boys.
Pick me boys and girls want to, as the name suggests, be picked out of the many fish in the pond. They would resort to renouncing others to stand out and impress the person they like by ensuring that they are not like the rest. This mentality is born out of an attempt to avoid the painful feeling of being rejected and revel in the idea that out of the many, they were picked.
The “Pick Me” behavior does not only manifest through putting down others of the same gender. It could also reveal itself through self-deprecation to obtain approval from others – infamously known as “sad boy” and “sad girl” traits. A pick-me boy or girl calls out their perceived weaknesses and differences to obtain emotional stroking from the person they like.
The One
Despite all the creeps and red flags in the online dating realm, there will always be that person who will leave you saying, "Finally, this is it." Well, that is one of the reasons why so many are into online dating apps as most are searching for "the one” – the one who will treat you right, the one who will stick with you through the highs and lows, the one who will love even your flaws and imperfections, and the one you would want to spend your life with.
If you still have not met "the one," believe that someday you will. For now, just keep swiping.
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